with Colum the Columnite Columnist from the planet Caryatid. Supernova's favourite gossip hound! Hard-nosed she may be, but she know how to rock and roll!
Pssst! Listen to this, you gossip loving alien freaks! This week we've got crazy celebrities and weird diseases. I mean really weird - it's all here in this week's super-sized, super-cool, super-awesome Supernova!
Gargle Gargleton Parties On
Legendary actor and Galactic Holo-vid star, Gargle Gargleton celebrated his 154th birthday with a massive party at the 'Tacky But Nice' Palace Hotel on the Pleasure Planet 'Party On'. It was friends and family only, but as Gargleton's a Blue Fay from the planet Az,his family runs into the tens of thousands (and each one virtually identical!) Apparently the uber wealthy Gargleton booked the entire planet for his exclusive use! This, despite the fact that his latest Holo-Vid, 'Poffle Egg and Black Mayo Sandwich in Space', bombed at the box office. It's a surealist story about the pointlessness of story in art. In the film, Gargle Gargleton takes 2 hours to eat a Poffle Egg and Black May Sandwich. There are two lines of dialogue - one at the begninning, 'I'll have a Poffle Egg and Black Mayo Sandwich,' and one at the end, Thank you for the Sandwich.'
Who could possibly have imagined it would be such a flop, eh?
ReissWort, what is it exactly?
It's been called a plague and an epidemic but what is this Reisswort, that's been spreading all over the planet Fornax? It leaves disgusting little warts on the back of your hands - or claws, or tentacles or whatever. Most people have been squeezing them or having them removed - but the Elders of Planet Reiss are pleading with everyone not to do this. Apparently they're not warts at all, but baby Reisslings! Can you believe it?They claim they're harmless, and will drop off harmlessly and hatch after a week or so with no ill effects to their hosts. The Elders apologize for any inconvience, but it seems one of their Birthships accidentally broke up in the upper atmosphere of Fornax, scatttering eggs all over the planet. They're begging you to please show some restraint and spare the Warts. Wonders of the universe and all that eh?
Snurgensnarflesnots, until next time, alien freaks!